Helpless Romantic

My mom has just been dragged into the front room by her hair…her boyfriend wanted to look at himself in the mirror. She was in the shower, but not anymore. I’m young and confused

…and I’m in her closet reading the hidden journal entries in her secret hiding place. I’m around 11 years old…maybe 12. I’m not surprised…he’s evil to her. Lies, cheats, and hurts her…but I think he loves her. He has put a gun to her head, calls her out of her name, hits her, and makes her feel anything, but beautiful. I always knew my mom was beautiful, but I didn’t know what all she had been through. I didn’t know her life was like mine.



She loved this man and she gave him 5 children. Anyone on the outside looking in would never know what was truly going on, but I knew.

My mom was sitting on the end of the bed…in pain. She asked me and another sibling to rub her legs…they were bruised severely. I never knew what really happened that day, but I knew it was dealing with her boyfriend.  I don’t know which memory is worse…that or the time I was 5 years old staring at him as he belittled her and she was in tears. I ran back into my room crying. I was 5 and I knew something was wrong. My mom came into my room, kneeled down, and looked into my eyes. “Do I have a black eye?” she asked. I replied, “No.” My mom then said, “Well, then he didn’t hit me.” My tears stopped and she tucked me back into bed. That was only the beginning…

I’m 14 now and my mom has hidden the laptop from me. She was frustrated because I kept creating social media pages after she kept telling me not to. Hard headed was my middle and first name. She was at work and I knew her boyfriend wouldn’t be there for a while…considering that he was a hoe. I broke into her room and began to look for the laptop, but I found something else…my mom’s clothes packed up in garbage bags. Who did this? I tied the bags back up and locked the door behind me. I don’t think it was meant for me to run across the bags that were full of clothes, but I did.

 I knew there would be war when my mom got home.

She pulls into the drive way and she’s talking on her cell phone through her headset. I walk out of my room after a while just to see how she’s doing. She’s pissed and going off on the phone! “He’s gonna put my shit back up!” …I knew he wouldn’t though. I walk in to help her fold her clothes, and I have created a stack of nicely folded shirts. As I pull the dresser drawer open to put her clothes inside…I notice that her boyfriend has left SEVERAL condoms in her dresser drawers. How can a person be so evil to someone so sweet? What had she done to him? Simply nothing.

 

I pushed the dresser drawer close and told my mom that I was going to play. She was so busy going off on the phone that I don’t even think she realized that I saw the condoms.

…that’s all I can really remember from that crazy life event, but I felt so bad for my angel, my mother. She was so strong and determined to keep her family together. Why she chose to endure it? …I have no idea! But no matter what, I will NEVER stand for domestic abuse, and neither should you.

If you know anyone that is going through domestic abuse, please encourage them to leave. You can save a life and bring on a change like no other…your few words can make a difference.

This is what I knew, this was my life, and this is my story.

-Justice

“The more a daughter knows the details of her mother's life [...] the stronger the daughter.” - Anitas Diamant, The Red Tent