I’m 15 years old, and I’m dating one of the biggest
drug dealers…also, one of the biggest “game talkers”. He’s 19 about to be 20…and
he comes with a baby and a psycho baby momma. Not that I care; he’s funny and
cute as hell. His name is Brian.
Brian has just asked for me $25. I’m 15 and jobless,
but I leave it in the mailbox for him to pick up. Now that I look back on it;
he had the money…he just wanted to see where I was mentally.
..and I was nowhere near prepared for what was about
to happen.
Just last year I was having my first kiss. That didn’t
go so well…the boy stopped talking to me after I wouldn’t have sex with him.
Just great, huh? Well, I’ve met Brian and he has sweet talked me into letting
him come over when my parents were at work. It was a school holiday, and he
came over that morning. I made him park his car down the street…I wasn’t trying
to get caught by my parents.
I let him into the house, and I honestly had the
time of my life with him…it was so much fun. I continued to see Brian all of
the time. Even purposely going to my grandmother’s house, waited for her to
pass out drunk, and then would call Brian to come pick me up. I would then
sneak back into my grandmother’s house…I knew it wouldn’t be until morning that
she recovered from the vodka and cranberry juice.
Brian comes over one day; my family went to an event
together, and I stayed home just to sneak him in. He begins to kiss me, and
before you know it…I’m losing my virginity. He leaves, and I immediately call
my best friend, Amanda, to tell her the big news. Now I tell Amanda EVERYTHING,
and I tell her about my experience in detail. She is also 15, and has already
lost her virginity to Brian’s close friend; that’s how I met Brian.
Well, some days go by, and I haven’t heard from
Amanda. She wouldn’t answer my phone calls or anything. I get online to check Myspace,
and I notice that Brian is in her top 5 friends. Back then, that was MAJOR on
Myspace. I then noticed that his pictures were on her page, and also his name
on the background.
Did I miss something? Why in the hell was that on
her page?
I rushed to call Brian, and he’s laughing. I asked
him why her Myspace page had his pictures on there, and he told me, “I f&cked
Amanda”. I told him to stop playing, and he told me that he was serious…he then
hung up in my face. I immediately called Amanda, and she confirmed that she had
sex with Brian. She also told me that Brian told her that I had been saying
negative things about her, which I wasn’t doing.
I hung up the phone, and I began to scream. The
tears began pouring down my face. I had never felt so hurt…so betrayed. My mom
heard me crying, and asked me what was wrong. I explained to her that Amanda
had sex with Brian. My mom knew that Amanda was my best friend, and she also
knew that Brian had just taken my virginity. It had only been a week since I
lost my virginity, and I felt like my world was over. I didn’t understand why
my “friend” would do that to me.
My mom looked at me and the only thing she said was,
“…and you know what? She’ll never be happy because of the way she got him!” She
told me that I didn’t have friends; that she was my best friend.
Those were her only and exact words. She was right,
and she’s still right ‘til this day.
I learned that everyone isn’t your friend…everyone
does not care about your feelings. People will do what THEY want to do, and
that’s just a part of life. Friends come and friends go…some “friends”, some would
say snakes, will betray you.
I learned that lesson at 15 years old, and I will
never forget it.
As far as Amanda, Brian left her after about a week
and a half. I haven’t talk to her since then. Brian was still full of himself…he
would call me from restricted and say, “You wish you had my new number” … he would
eventually give me the new number, and then change the number again. This broke
my heart, and it was a repetitive cycle until I snapped out of stupid. All
thanks to my mother =)
The next time I spoke with Brian was on my 18th
birthday. He got in touch with me, and apologized for the cruel things that he
did to me when I was younger. He took me to J. Alexander’s for my 18th
birthday, and ended my night with giving me a bankroll of money…$300. I guess
that was his way of making it up to me, but I will always remember what he did
to me.
Mothers, keep uplifting your daughter(s), nieces,
students, neighbors…we all need a little preaching in our lives every now and
then =) I’m glad that my mother was there for me in my time of need…I probably
wouldn’t have made it without her nor without her words. She knew exactly how I
felt, since she went through it before.
I also learned that men will be men, and the vagina
does not have a name on it. I learned to not give myself away to just anyone. I
also learned that you can’t introduce everyone to your boyfriend; and if you
feel that way, then he shouldn’t be your boyfriend. =)
Let’s be smart ladies, and for the gents…you might
have a daughter one day; maybe a niece or a God daughter. Watch how you treat
women/young ladies; treat her with the same respect as you would want someone
to treat your mother, grandmother, or daughter.
Come on now, we depend on each other =)
-Justice
“Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that from you.” -Sherrilyn Kenyon
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