Beat My Heart...



I’m in the bathroom crying and my wrist is killing me. I’m on the floor in cradle position with the door locked. My boyfriend had just beaten me. You see, I was 16 years old…dating a 21 year old man. Shocked? Not at all. He was brown skin, 6’10”, and went by the nickname Slim. I met Slim at my new job working in the drive thru. I’m not sure if he knew my real age at first, but I vividly remember telling him as he slid his number to me on a receipt. He always came up to my job to stare…he ordered food sometimes, but for the most part he stared and smiled.

The gifts began flowing in. There were flowers, teddy bears, and Bath & Body works, not to mention the male attention, and many other gifts. I felt like the luckiest girl…never thinking about the age difference. All of my friends knew who I was dating…some of my friends were even dating his friends. (That’s usually how young male whores set it up to be). Any who, I was in lust and I thought I was happy.

I would do anything to see Slim. I would lie about being at work or say that I was at a friend’s house just to see him. My parents didn’t know he existed, but his family was okay with me being around. ‘Til this day I don’t know if he lied to them about my age or if his family was just ignorant. Whatever the case may be…I shouldn’t have been with Slim.

Slim had just gone through my cell phone. He claimed that it was a text from another boy dealing with money. This was an entire lie. I tried to explain to him what the text was, but he had already lost his temper. Before I knew it, Slim had slammed my cell phone into the wall. From instinct, I jumped up to try to get my phone. Slim then picked up a metal rod and began to swing at me. He held me down and repeatedly hit me with the rod. I ended up spraining my wrist from trying to block the blows. I finally got away and locked myself inside of the bathroom. His brother knocked on the door to check on me…I told him I was okay, but he knew I was in severe pain. After about 20-30 minutes, I felt like it was safe enough for me to leave out of the bathroom. Slim was lying across the bed…acting as if nothing had just happen.

 



I had a car then and I began to look for my purse and keys so that I could leave. You know what Slim decides to do? He grabbed my huge purse and emptied it into the middle of the street. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. What did I do to him to deserve this? What do I do? I can’t tell my parents because I’m underage. I felt like I had to hide what was really happening to me.

I was 16 in an abusive relationship with a 21 year old man who was beating me. The abuse was verbal, physical, and emotional. He brought me to one of my lowest points…and worse of all…I didn’t feel beautiful.

Should I stay? Why not? …my mom does…is what I was thinking at the time.

I went back to the relationship & it wasn’t the last time Slim beat me up. Let’s just say, there were black eyes.

…Never let a man bring you down. You are beautiful, a pearl, and most definitely special. If a man truly loves you, then he will never harm you or result to putting his hands on you. Men should protect women…not harm them. I believe that at the time Slim knew that what he was doing to me was wrong, but I think he also knew that he broke me down so low, that I would be stupid and come back.

“No one else will want you!” is what he would tell me, and I believed it.

Some of you are princess; others are queens, but no matter the age…NEVER stand for domestic violence. If he hits you once, then he will MOST DEFINITELY hit you again! Leaving that abusive partner is hard, but so much worth it in the end! You will actually enjoy not having to:

• Be afraid that you will tick off your abusive partner
• Hide the facts from your family
• Get bruised up
• Feel like you were in a car accident the next day
• Feel unpretty (Believe me when I say...you are beautiful!)
• Avoid being who you really are in front of your partner

 



You are strong and you can leave. No feeling of “false” love is worth being abused. There is love and support everywhere: family, friends, classmates, blog sites, EVERYWHERE.

 



Believe me when I say that if a man loves you, then he will never hit you. IT’S THE TRUTH! I’m so happy that I became strong enough to leave…and so can you, you pearl! =)

-Justice

“She could just pack up and leave, but she does not visualize what's beyond ahead.” - Núria Añó