Vitiligo
: A condition in which the pigment is lost from
areas of the skin, causing whitish patches, often with no clear cause.
I was born with Vitiligo on my leg and I hated it.
…My mom has just finished combing my hair and I’m sitting on her lap. I’m 5 years old, and I’m crying because I don’t want to start school because of my leg. The kids will tease me, and I know it. My cousins and siblings have been teasing me ever since I was younger…they called me the worse names. I felt so ugly.
I asked my mom why I had vitiligo on my leg. She told me, “God made you special!” I immediately became happy. I was ready for my first day at school!
My mom has dropped me off at school, and now I’m
alone. The kids are staring at my leg, and pointing. I go behind the book shelf
to hide, and I begin to cry. No one wanted to play with me because I was different…I
was unique. Before I knew it, a girl and a boy walked up to me, and asked if I
wanted to play. They became my usual group of friends at school. I still remember them.
I’m on the phone calling my dad. I’m about 6 years
old at this point, and once again crying. I’m telling my dad that I don’t feel
pretty because the kids have been laughing at my leg. I also tell him that my
siblings have been calling me ugly because of my leg. He tells me, “You are
beautiful! Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not beautiful! And knock that boy
out at school tomorrow!” …and I’m not lying when I say the next day was my
first fight! …yep, right on the playground! LOL!
What else was a father suppose to tell his daughter?
He taught me how to defend myself, and I’ve been doing it ever since.
I’m in middle school now, and the teasing has gotten
worse. When they say kids can be the meanest…they aren’t lying. The kids are
afraid to play with me. They think that if they touch my leg, then my vitiligo
will spread onto them. This most definitely isn’t the case…that’s impossible.
My family even teases me; once upon a time telling me that I had “shit” on my
leg.
Luckily, rolling backpacks have come out. I use it
to cover my leg as I walk in the hallway. I hated my leg at this point. I was
tired of the teasing! I was normal, and no other child could see that, except
for me. Adults would even stare and point. I knew I was different, and people
weren’t afraid to tell me.
I’m in the 8th grade now, and gym
attendance is required. I’m in the coach’s office trying to get permission to
wear long pants instead of gym shorts, since I hate showing my leg. He tells me
that I can wear long pants, but I have to do my exercises in gym shorts. I was
more than happy! I didn’t have to show my leg!
Back then, I didn’t understand why he made me work
out in my gym shorts. Now that I’m older, I realize that my coach made me wear
my shorts to “prepare” me for this cruel world. He allowed me to be comfortable
enough in gym class, but still made me go through showing my leg. Then and
there, I became better at dealing with my vitiligo.
I’m in high school now. 14 years old, and I’m still
hiding my leg in public. Whether it was the store, school, or the neighborhood…I
never allowed anyone to see my leg. I was embarrassed of it. I thought my leg was ugly
and I wasn't comfortable with showing my leg off to anyone.
I’ve just gotten on the school bus
in a skirt, but I don’t have the confidence enough to walk the school hallways
in it. By the time first period was starting…I was in the restroom changing
into a pair of jeans that I bought with me; just in case I chickened out.
I’m in my freshman year of college, and I still hide
my leg! It hasn’t been a party that I’ve worn a dress or a skirt to. I’m still
too nervous to show it in public, and I’m 18 years old.
Well, it’s Halloween and it’s time to pick costumes.
I can’t find a costume that’s sexy, and will still hide my leg at the same time!
What was I going to do? I couldn’t look
like a child inside of the party. So, one of my friends suggested something
with fishnets. It was the most brilliant idea ever! I found a cute, sexy
costume that still looked great with fishnets. I felt beautiful…I felt sexy!
For the first time ever…I wasn’t worried about if someone would stare and
comment about my vitiligo on my leg.
I am now 24 years old, and I have finally embraced
my vitiligo. I am no longer afraid, embarrassed, nor worried about what others
have to say about my leg. I am happy, I am breathing, and I am unique.
Self-love is the best love!
"I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don't have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?" -Shailene Woodley
-Justice
This is MY life. MY story.
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